So a bit of background. I'm 40 year old housewife with 2 kids. My life has been one huge rollercoaster. Had a turbulent upbringing from a father who had v bad temper and a mother who was in denial but whom also v close to. Was stalked by a psychotic schizophrenic who tried kidnap me but murdered someone and was put away but now let out and met and married my wonderful husband who offered me security but for the last 17 years refused sex, and has literally never touched me. So I left. All my insecurities are out there and I've met someone else but I'm scared. I have 2 amazing kids who nee all my focus. So what do I talk about first. The bad parenting from father. The stalking. Or fact that my husband I had sex every other year with me iniating it and him turning me down. Work wise I worked ruthless works of banking with a sideline of 17 years as a beauty editor. Now I'm living apart from my husband who refused help of counsellor but now he is.....maybe too late. Seeing an amazing guy whom I knew from school. Which direction do i go. I love and fancy my husband but his reasons for never wanting me or touching me are way out there. Wish someone would make my mind up for me. Maybe writing this blog someone can control what I do next. Oh most importantly a Christian and have faith....